Funy Spanish Phrases

I have found that interacting with Spanish folk to be a very important. I've included this section so as to share some of the knowledge I've built up, mainly from the BBC Spanish Language page. So, be it a treck through the Amazon or a shitty holiday to Benidorm, I'm sure you'll find some useful phrases here.

Me burro esta muerto
- My donkey is dead

No me gustan los caballos
- I don't like horses.

¿Donde puedo comprar un bigote falso para mi perro?
- Where can I buy a large brown fake Moustache for my dog?

Soy Zod, el master de la destruccion. Mi mision es gobernar tu debil pais y esclavizar a sus piltrafillas por toda la eternidad. MMMWwwwhhhaaaa Hhhaa hhaaa haaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Hello I'm pleased to meet you

A mi llama se le ha caido una pata y querria comprar una rueda de repuesto, por favor.
- The leg has fallen off of my Llama and so I'd like to buy some sort of replacement wheel please.

Con este bigote, yo te desposo.
- With this fake Moustache, I thee wed.........

!Acerquense y vean! Una oportunidad única de ver a un perro con un cuchillo zumbando a un caballo con una pistola.
- Rol up, Roll up. A once in a lifetime oppertunity to see a dog with a knife fight a horse with a gun.

Una vez construi un ordenador de arena utilizando ramitas y trozos de cuerda.
I once built a computer out of sand using twigs and large pieces of rope.